The most inspiring factor of this “love and care” rope war is that the “surrender” is the conqueror.
And this was my way of act in every relationship in life. I strongly believed that the softest thing in the world overcomes the hardest thing in the world. But when ideology meets reality, the clashes occur, sometimes spontaneously and sometimes “after the break”. A world of new discoveries opens to you, a world of revealing mysteries reminds you “Alice in Wonderland.”
On the arrival of Corona virus, my self associated above said theory proved wrong and badly failed.
As Corona virus spreads everywhere around the world resulting in an insecure environment. The horrible pandemic of the starting of the year 2020 creates a sense of being unstable and unexpected misery of life in many ways. How unpredictable and uncertain is the life itself. We also received an emergency notification at our work place regarding “lock down” for initially 20 days. The employees would do their responsibilities online during this crucial time period. With heavy heart and depressed thoughts, everybody gets frustrated and in despair in the alarming situation when I received a call on my cellphone. It was my office colleague. I offered her my office room and we done our duties under the same roof for four years. In fact, I soon realised that she didn’t know anything about this profession, I had a doubt on her qualifications also. She belonged to the far flung rural area and the only one literate person and she was extremely proud in this regard. Though sometimes I feel her reactions very illiterate but time and experience bring positive changes to everyone. Nobody liked her or hardly talked to her. Sometimes my other colleagues warned me about her intentions of being jealous of me or want to steel my place. In office meetings they observed and noticed her rude behavior towards me. They also point out that she often tried to snub me but I totally ignored. I always thought it was her inferior complex of being junior or something else so I never bothered. My other colleagues become angry on my low self esteem. Even they had a opinion that I am an “emotional fool”. They said I have no self respect but I disagreed with all of them.
I was so delighted when I saw her name on cellphone screen because during these years, she had never call me. Now she contact me after ten days. Finally I win her heart. My positive aptitude paid me at last. After hearing my voice, she abruptly asked me cheerfully about my sneezing. My colleague’s voice was trembling in happiness. Suddenly I felt something very strange at that moment. Some unusual feeling I can’t explain. Why she is so excited? Though she said that she was anxious about my health but I can feel the joy and happiness in her voice. Because I am a patient of pollen allergy that usually breaks in the middle of February and proceeds till April. Ah! God help me! Medical specialists warned those pollen allergy patients need to be more careful as they are on high risk. At home, I feel better and calm because my residential area is free of all pollen bearing plants. But she asked again and again as to confirm something “good” going to be happened for her. No I can’t ignore that unpleasant feeling and very strong negative vibes I received from her side. I get offended. My heart feel nauseate at that time. No doubt, it was the moment of the revealing of an unfolded reality.
She couldn’t hide the excitement of her “hope” of a bright future very soon. She has made my other colleagues, the winners. They were right. Excess of everything is harmful. Extra care and attention results in ignorance and disgrace in some cases. Same formula can not apply in all situations. It varies person to person.
With a broken heart and miserable feelings I feel embarrassed in my own eyes. I decided to change myself to remain distant and reserved. As covid-19 circumstances also demand to follow the rule: ” keep your distance to stay safe”.
And now that “tug of war” is going to be changed in a “cold war” between us.
